![]() The baby must wear a suit once a week.ĥ0. When it’s of age, I get to have the “sex talk” with it.Ĥ5. For every picture you show me of the baby I get to show you a picture of me having sex.Ĥ2. You can only talk about the baby 3% of time.ģ9. ![]() You cannot use it as an excuse to not do something cool with me.ģ8. As tempting as it might be, you’re forbidden from using a 19th century president’s last name as the baby’s first name.ģ4. All babysitters you use must be female, hot, and of age.ģ2. If I’m hungry you have to feed me first.Ģ5a. Lily has to lose the baby weight by bikini season.ġ7. That may involve the baby falling from a two story window and me heroically catching it.ġ4. Once a month I get to use the baby to pick up chicks.ģ. You promise to always love me more than the baby.Ģ. Here’s a sampling of the eighty-three simple to follow guidelines I presented to Marshall and Lily:ġ. If you have friends that have decided to crank out a kid and ruin their lives and those of everyone in their immediate vicinity I encourage you to generate a list of guidelines for them to follow. But we can at least be civilized about it. It’s not like Uncle Barney is delusional. Now I understand I can’t stop the world from procreating. In fact, I recently discovered that some people ( Marshall and Lily) drive recklessly on purpose with the hopes of having an accident. Unfortunately not everyone “drives” safely. Luckily for me I’m a safe driver and wear about thirty seat belts… if you catch my drift. They’re like little fender benders that don’t go away and poop a lot. This entry in response to the episode Robots Versus Wrestlers.Ĭhildren. It was retrieved from the Barney's Blog at CBS.com here. This is the one hundred and fourteenth entry of Barney's Blog, written by How I Met Your Mother main character Barney Stinson.
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